How to Talk Money With Your Family Over The Holidays
Discussing Family Finances During the Holidays
The holidays are fast approaching, offering more opportunities to gather with family and relatives than at any other time of the year. If you’ve been considering a conversation about finances, inheritance, end-of-life decisions, and estate planning, having everyone together can be ideal. However, bringing up these topics amidst holiday festivities can be tricky.
To ensure a productive and respectful conversation, consider these three tips.
1. Share Your Intention Ahead of Time
Talking about finances can make many people uncomfortable. Some may come from families where discussing money was taboo, or they may fear that such conversations could create tension. Others might believe that planning for their assets brings bad luck. However, planning for your assets does not increase your chances of dying, but it does ensure your family’s well-being after you’re gone.
To ease your loved ones into the conversation, don’t bring up money matters for the first time during the holiday gathering. Instead, mention it a few weeks in advance.
If you regularly visit or call your loved ones, let them know you’ve been thinking about creating a financial plan for your family in case something happens to you. Casually mentioning it will help plant the seed for a future discussion and might get them thinking about their own plans or lack thereof.
As the family gathering approaches, bring up the subject again with more intention. Consider asking the host of your family gathering when the best time would be to have an all-family conversation about finances. Schedule it and inform everyone that you’ve planned something meaningful.
If the host is hesitant, be curious about their concerns and see if you can address them by talking to other family members in advance.
If you’ve already done your planning, use your experience as a starting point for the conversation.
2. Set Aside a Time and Place to Talk
Discussing finances while opening holiday gifts isn’t likely to yield the best results. Instead, schedule a specific time to talk without distractions or interruptions.
Be transparent with your family about the meeting’s purpose so no one is caught off guard and everyone can come prepared. Choose a comfortable, quiet, and private setting. The more relaxed everyone feels, the more likely they’ll open up.
Start by explaining why it’s important to you to have these conversations about money, life, and death. You might even admit that the topic is uncomfortable for you but emphasize that it’s worth the discomfort because these discussions can strengthen family bonds, enhance resilience, and ensure financial well-being for everyone.
Finally, set a clear start and stop time for the conversation. The goal is to get the conversation started, not to resolve all details or dollar amounts, so view this as the beginning of an ongoing dialogue.
3. Share Your Planning Experience
If you’ve already created your own financial plan, share your experience. Talk about how you felt during the process, how straightforward it was, and the peace of mind you now have knowing your assets and loved ones will be cared for according to your wishes.
Describe the process you went through and how you were supported in creating a plan tailored to your unique needs and wishes.
Share any initial concerns or doubts you had about planning and how they were addressed. If any family members have doubts about the usefulness of planning, empathize with them and share your journey and the benefits you’ve seen.
If you haven’t created a plan yet, or if you have doubts about a plan you created elsewhere, be open about why you want to establish a plan for your life and death. Focus on avoiding family conflict, ensuring care for a child, disabled relative, or senior parent, or building generational wealth and a legacy for your family. Highlight the benefits that planning will have for both your immediate and extended family.
Bringing Families Together
Discussing finances and estate planning with loved ones can be challenging, but it’s crucial for ensuring that your family’s future is secure. When approached thoughtfully, these conversations can strengthen family bonds and provide peace of mind knowing that your assets will be protected and that your loved ones will be cared for no matter what.
Creating your own estate plan before initiating this conversation can help your loved ones be more receptive and demonstrate the benefits of planning from a family member’s perspective.
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This article is a service of Zarda Law, S.C. We do not just draft documents; we ensure you make informed decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That's why we offer a Legacy Planning Session, during which you will get financially organized and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by scheduling a Legacy Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge.
